60 Day Challenge - Day 9

Week 1 is done. I guess, it was officially done as of last night but I didn't write it so it's tonight. Unfortunately, I ate a big dinner and really didn't feel up to working out but I did anyway.

Exercise...
I did almost all of Marshaun's workout. I just wasn't feeling it but I did it and it's done.

Diet...
Wasn't hungry for breakfast. Almonds for lunch. Beef brisket for dinner. It was so yummy but I ate too much.

Weight loss: 7.2 lbs (boo!)
Energy level: back to meh cuz I didn't sleep

60 Day Challenge - Day 8.5

Confession time ... I HATE almonds. I really do. I haven't found a style that doesn't have that disgusting powdery coating on them. Plus, with my daughter bring allergic to nuts, I have gotten away from eating nuts overall. I might have a scoop of peanut butter but that's about it. So this is completely grossing me out. Blech!

60 Day Challenge - Day 8

Back to work. I really had to fight to get myself to the health club last night but I went. I didn't get winded going up the stairs!! After only a week, I can breathe!!

Ran into Marshaun and he said I made his day by being there.

Exercise ...
Marshaun's routine. So much easier. I even had to speed up my walking because I wasn't feeling anything. That's kind of cool.

Diet ...
I had my egg white "omelet" from Subway. For lunch, I had two Lindor Easter eggs ... because they were there. For dinner, I had chicken fingers and a salad.

Weight loss: 8 lbs
Energy level: Better

60 Day Challenge - Day 7

Happy Mother's Day!

I slept until noon. I don't remember the last time I did that. I had planned a full day for the family. Movie, dinner, and a play in the city. It was a good day.

Exercise ...
Not. I took the day off just to be with my family, and because I over slept. So, my exercise consisted primarily of walking downtown.

Diet ...
Again, I did not stick to the plan. I had a hot dog at the movie and half a breaded steak sandwich with red sauce and mozzarella. It was so good. I came in below my calories again and MyFitnessPal threatened to disown me.

Weight loss: 7.8 lbs
Energy level: Better

60 Day Challenge - Day 6

I'm not feeling like a giant blob anymore, maybe just a large one.

Exercise ...
I decided to shake things up a bit. The studio where my daughter dances was offering a free yoga session to moms of girls that dance on the competitive team so my girlfriend and I tried it. I discovered I have a problem with my knee. I could not kneel on it, which is like half of the yoga moves. I did what I could and kind of enjoyed it. My friend wants to go back. I'm not opposed and would love to have someone to exercise with.

Diet ...
I didn't eat one thing I was supposed to eat. I had 6 Chips Ahoy and a hot dog and a pretzel at the baseball game. I came in so far under my calorie count that MyFitnessPal wouldn't allow me to complete it.

Weight loss: 7 lbs
Energy level: meh++

60 Day Challenge - Day 5

I am so bad about blogging. My intention was to do this every day. I'm lucky if I do it every third day.

Exercise ...
The kid was on a field trip so I had to go by myself. I got there and did the routine Marshaun had developed for me. I was tired when I got done and my muscles were a bit weak but it felt good.

Diet ...
It was a busy day at work so I had almonds for breakfast and almonds for lunch. Exciting, right? For dinner, I splurged a little and had a steak house wrap and a salad. Nothing had ever tasted sooooooooo good.

I asked hubs if he could see the 4 lbs if lost. He said no. Men!

Weight loss: 4lbs
Energy level: meh+

60 Day Challenge - Day 4

I was weak. I caved.

Exercise ...
I didn't go because I was sore from training with Marshaun. It wasn't so much so that I couldn't move but it was enough that I could use it as an excuse. I really shouldn't do that.

Diet ...
Behaved myself the rest of the day but I had three Chips Ahoy cookies. The only things food-related purchased by hubs are milk, Chips Ahoy, Entenmann's chocolate doughnuts, and, occasionally, ice cream. He will also buy the fixings if he is making supper. At one point, I started to take a chocolate doughnut and then I put it back because it wasn't worth it. So I wasn't completely weak. Yay me!

Status:
Weight Loss: 3lbs
Energy Level: meh

60 Day Challenge - Day 3

This is officially further than I've ever gotten with one of these challenges. I usually just stop going. Lol!

Exercise...
Today was trainer day. Marshaun texted and asked if I was ready. I told him to bring it on. And he brought it. I was still able to walk down the stairs after the session which I haven't been able to do in the past.

We did LOTS of resistance bands. I felt it while doing them.

Diet...
I forgot to mention that I'm also doing this Candida cleanse diet that my doctor wants me to do. It's supposed to help with my thyroid. It is a very limiting diet. No carbs or starches. No cashews or peanuts. No beans, carrots, corn, or mushrooms. No shellfish.

Today I had egg whites with tomatoes for breakfast. A McDonald's salad with grilled chicken for lunch. So far I'm not hungry for dinner but I have another salad for dinner. O yum.

I can do this. I will do this.

Health...
I went to see my neurologist for my migraine meds. We discussed last year's diagnosis of empty sella syndrome. It may be the reason for my headaches. It may be the reason for my head feeling full. It could also be the reason for some of my weight. So, what do we do about it? Nothing. That's right. Nothing. There is nothing to do about it. It is just going to remain an empty nester. I call it Fred because, initially, the doctors thought I had a pituitary cyst. I actually named the cyst Fred but, when it turned out to not be a cyst, the name stuck.

Goals...
1. Be able to buy off the rack again. I was able to do this before my pregnancies and I want to be able to do it now.
2. I have a wedding at the end of June and I want to be able to wear something other than the shapeless bags I've been wearing. That means the challenge will be just about over at that point.
3. I want to feel better.
4. My daughter wants to run a 5k color run but she's not old enough to do it on her own. I want to be able to run it with her.


Status...
Weight Loss: Down 2lbs
Energy: blech

60 Day Challenge - Day 2

It's already day 2?!?! Crap. Not sure I'm ready for this but the kid is dragging me to the club.

I walked for a half hour and did some strength training. I couldn't do anymore. I felt like a loser. The kid was still raring to go. I just couldn't do it.

We left after an hour and I took her to buy a couple books that I owed her for turning in all of her homework.

I'll do better tomorrow.

60 Day Challenge - Day 1

I headed to the club to weigh-in for the challenge. I decided I would get a membership for my daughter so she could guilt me into going.

We get to the club and I get her membership. I take her upstairs to show her the basics before I take leave of her. Then I make the move ... I go looking for my trainer. Bum-bum-buuuuum...

My trainer is Marshaun. He seems like a very nice guy. Totally into his job.

I weigh-in. I get my paperwork. I set up an appointment for my training session.

Then I tell the child it is time to go. She's disappointed but I really wasn't ready to workout.

Day 1 done. Workout avoided.

Deja Vu

Here we go again. I'm morbidly obese. So far, it hasn't affected my blood pressure or my blood sugar. I've been able to dodge that bullet.

I made it through another software release without gaining weight so that is something new. Part of that has to do with the fact that they provided fast food that was cold by the time it got to us. I had cold pizza, cold burritos, soggy sub sandwiches, and somewhat warm roast beef.

During the release, I began plotting. I decided I would sign up for the health club's 60 Day Fitness Challenge. They offer try it classes, cooking recommendations, and a discounted trainer. Weigh-in was the weekend after our 24 hour support ended. Perfect timing.

Let the games begin.

Starting Over Again

Hi. My name is Momma (Hi Momma) and I'm an overeater. I have passed pleasantly plump. I have passed chubby. I have passed heavy. I have moved right to fat. 

Yes. I'm fat. I'm not being mean to myself. I'm accepting responsibility for my current state. I get winded when walk up a flight of stairs or take a shower. I break into a full-body sweat whenever I exert myself, even when I'm shopping. *gasp* It is because of these things that I now admit I am fat.

For the last 6 years, I have had many excuses and reasons for my weight. 

1. I had two full-term pregnancies. The first one ended in a stillbirth and much depression. But, even with that, I was able to get my weight down to within 35lbs of my pre-pregnancy weight. I had another full-term pregnancy. This ended with a beautiful baby girl and much frustration from hubs, lovingly known as McGrump, because he was no longer the sole focus of my love and attention. He spent an average of 3-4 nights a week out of the house for the first five years of her life. About that time, I drew attention to his absenteeism during one of our many fights and he reduced that to 2-3 nights a week instead. Recently, he has been home more and more. I actually don't know how to handle it as I have become very used to him being gone.
2. I have a lazy thyroid known as hypothyroid. It causes my hair to fall out, my skin to dry out, achy joints, fatigue and, yes, weight gain. By the time they had my thyroid under control, I had put on 50 lbs from my post baby weight (which was 35lbs heavier than my pre-baby weight). Even with that, I was able to, once again, bring my weight down that 50lbs with the help of appetite suppressants.
3. The thing that truly changed the tide was the fact that I suffer from chronic sinus infections and regularly needed steroids which increased my appetite. I developed some very bad eating habits as a result of this.
4. To compound my poor eating habits, I received a position on a project team at work to install an electronic health record application at the hospital I work for. We worked 16-18 hours days. They provided full, heavy meals with high-quality desserts since we weren't able to leave our desks. A sudden desire for coffee to keep me awake turned into the fru-fru coffees because I don't actually like coffee. The second installation was not as bad but I was already far down the path to bad eating. By the time the installs were done, I had passed my pre-appetite suppressant weight.
5. My chronic sinus infections left me feeling dizzy may times. I convinced myself that, if I ate something heavier, I would feel better. (WRONG!)
6. Under all of this was my anxiety disorder adding to my already existing stress. To cope with the stress, I snacked.

So, here we are today. I am 130lbs heavier today than I was pre-baby, 85lbs heavier than my lowest post-baby weight and 115lbs heavier than my goal weight. I'm starting over because I have a 10yr old daughter and I want to see her grow up. I'm starting over because I don't feel good. I want to be able to walk up a flight of stairs.

I turn 47 tomorrow. My birthday gift to myself  will be the gift of health. I will stop snacking. I will eat more salads and vegetables. I will begin visiting the health club. I will wear my FitBit and make an real effort to increase my steps every day until I'm at 10,000 and then I will make an effort to stay there. I will feel comfortable in my own skin once again.

2010: The Story Continues

Well, I haven't posted for a while. That's pretty much because there hasn't been anything to really write about.

In September, I hit a milestone for my weight loss. I lost as much as my daughter weighs, 47lbs., so I could now carry her around and have as much energy as I did in March. No wonder I didn't want to do anything! It is hard to remember how little energy I had and to recognize that a good deal of it was due to the extra weight. When you're coming from that side of things, it's easy to understand how folks who are dramatically overweight don't do anything.

Then, nothing happened. I stalled. From the September doctor appointment to the November doctor appointment, I lost nothing. I stayed at that 47lb weight loss. It was a little disheartening but I realized that Halloween was in there and I was enjoying my daughter's candy a bit too much.

At the November appointment, the doctor was happy there was still a couple pounds of loss and set the goal of not gaining weight before the next appointment in January since we had Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years between the appointments.

I did fine for Thanksgiving. I stayed right on the mark.

In December, I lost a couple more pounds and officially hit the 50lb mark! That was a good day.

Over Christmas, I stayed at the 50lb mark.

For some reason, I have done nothing but eat since December 30. I can't explain it. I will pick it up again tomorrow when I return to work and, by the time I have my next appointment, I hope to be back down at the 50lb mark.

I haven't lost hope about this at all. I was just looking back and realizing it's been 8mos. That seems like such a long time but, when I realize that there was weight loss during most of those months, I understand why the doctors don't want people losing more than a pound or two a week. While it would have been great to lose all of the weight in the first two months, I know it wouldn't have stayed off. This way, my body is getting used to the new eating style ... and the new me.

Reality Check

So, when I was a young adult, I had a boyfriend whose mom had been a model at some point in her lifetime. She told me that the proper way to stand in a photo is to put one foot in front of the other with the bulk of your weight on the foot in the back. I guess it puts the larger proportion behind you or something like that. Bottom line, it is supposed to make you look thinner.

Ever since then, I have always tried to stand that way. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.

I had a reality check yesterday. After posting the pictures of my before and ... uh, during, I was feeling pretty good about my progress. I took my daughter to a dance studio to sign her up for ballet and tap for the fall. Let me tell you, a full wall of mirrors does nothing to improve your figure. Standing before me in all my glory was the reflection of someone that still has many steps yet to go in her journey to peace with herself.

I needed that slap in the face. I suspect this will be the catalyst to my return to the gym.

Moving Down the Charts

So, I went to the doctor today and, while I'm sitting in the little room waiting for the doctor to come in, I began studying the Weight Chart. This one wasn't one of the BMI charts; however, it did have the areas shaded that would correspond with the BMI.

I was thrilled to see that in a couple of pounds I will be down to a 29BMI. This means that I will move out of the Obese BMI range and into the only Overweight BMI range. I have not seen this weight range in almost 3 years. Woohoo!

In my previous life, I would celebrate that momentous event with a trip to Starbucks or 31 Flavors or something like that. But, now that I am a new person in the middle of a new journey, I will celebrate by going to the high-end resale shop down the street to buy some clothes that fit. :)

Breakfast Friends

There are just certain people who can make your day by just being there.

Yesterday morning, I had the pleasure of eating breakfast with one of my husband's cousins. She met us for breakfast to pick up her son who had spent the night. She walked in and gave my ego the boost it needed today. Some of the first words out of her mouth were "You're looking so skinny! I love it!"

She is actually the reason I am following the path I am with my weight loss. She has lost 75lbs in the last 15-ish months by changing her diet and exercising. She is the one that got me to join the gym I'm a member at. Now she has joined a new gym and she is taking kickboxing. She's trying to get me to switch but I need to get back in the routine before I can switch gyms. If I can't make myself go to the one I see every day, how am I going to make myself go to one I have to drive way outta my way to get there?

Regardless, seeing Megan's progress has definitely helped me achieve my weight loss so far. Thanks Meg for being such an inspiration!

Megan before (the one with CHI on her chest)

Megan after                  

The Proof is in the Pictures

So, I feel good enough about myself now that I can post the before picture. I'm not the after yet but I have faith that I will be there someday.

This picture was taken on our family vacation to DisneyWorld at the beginning of March, 2009. I looked at the pictures from our vacation and couldn't believe how big I'd gotten. When you're putting on weight, you know how much you weigh, you know what size you need to be comfortable but you don't fully know what you look like.

When I received the CD of our pictures from Disney, I sat down and cried. I was disgusting. I couldn't believe my butt was as big as Buzz Lightyear's chest and his was a costume. The weight was so out of my control and the efforts I'd made so far hadn't resulted in much. I was sure I was going to be fat for the rest of my life. For the record, my butt can actually be seen to the left of my arm and hand.

I am very happy with the progress I've made so far. The rate at which I'm losing my weight now has slowed down but that's OK. I didn't put most of this on overnight so I can't realistically expect it to come off overnight. I'm doing well. I'm staying positive.



Here's a picture that actually makes it look like I don't need to lose any weight. I like this one. :)  Course, I know that my sister just got the right angle. I was only down 29 pounds in this picture. This picture was 3 months into the weight-loss effort.

This is where I'm at after 5 months of effort ... 39 pounds down. Who could complain? Note, you cannot see my butt to the right of my arm and hand. :)  The pants in the first picture are almost too big to wear now.

I'm not disgusted with how I look. I'm not happy either but I'm not disgusted. I know it's a lifestyle change. That's the important thing, right?

My husband gave me a compliment the other day. He told me that I was getting a good shape to my butt again. People at work have begun to comment on my weight loss and want to know what I'm doing. I guess 35 pounds is the magic number to be noticed.



Addendum: OK, so I just looked at these pictures after I published. Just as when your weight is going up, you know how much you weigh and you know what size you need but you don't really know what you look like until you see a picture. Well, let me tell you, it happens in reverse too. I put this post together and really looked at the picture from March 5 in Disney and then looked at the picture from the zoo on Saturday, August 22 and I am amazed and thrilled at my progress!  Yay!! And, if I can do this, anyone can.

Update: 3mos later

Oops. I was going to update this blog every week or at least every month. I have failed to do that. I guess it was the idea that if I started posting every week, I would be embarrassed if I failed in my weight loss efforts.

Well, I'm here to tell you that I have not failed. I am doing very well. As of this weekend, I hit the halfway point. Yay me!

So, May progressed much the way April did. I lost weight at a reasonable, much slower pace than I did during the first month of my efforts.

In June, I fell down my concrete front stairs. I heard something, turned around and down I went. I landed on my left knee full force on a corner of a stair. I had it x-rayed to make sure nothing was broken. It wasn't but they diagnosed it as a sprain, advised me to stay off of it and told me to see an orthopedist if I was still having trouble with it in 7-10 days. Because of this, I didn't exercise ... like I needed an excuse.

I went through the next week not bending my knee which made going up and down the stairs a challenge. Because I was going on vacation, I scheduled an appointment with an ortho to make sure I didn't have any real damage before I walked on it for three weeks. The ortho said that it seemed to be OK but that I'd probably bruised the ligament. He encouraged me to use the knee but, if there was any discomfort, to take it easy and elevate it. He also cautioned me against using it too much. My translation: Don't exercise. So, I didn't exercise before vacation.

I went to see my sister and her family for a long weekend. We ate nothing but fast food. I tried not to eat the entire sandwiches. When I returned from vacation, I'd lost a pound. I went to my primary care doctor and, while he was not happy that I wasn't exercising, he was happy with the success I was having in the weight loss efforts.

Four days later, I left for fishing. Again, I tried not to eat entire portions since I was eating only fast food. I was successful in losing another pound. By this point, I was down 32lbs. I was feeling so much better about myself.

After vacation, I went through a junk food phase. I ate and watched my weight just sit. I kept saying I was going to exercise but I wasn't getting anywhere with that either.

At the end of July, I started really trying to stick to my weight loss plan at least with the food. Within 10 days, I lost another 3lbs. This means that I have officially reached the halfway point.

And, that brings us to the end of our posting. My doctor asked me what my goal weight was. I said that my most comfortable weight ever was 125lbs but I knew that was unreasonable so I was shooting for 150. He said he didn't think my body would be happy at that weight. The catch is that, if I don't make at least 150,I won't be happy with my body.

Whose happiness counts?

End of Month One

Well, as with everyone else, I have decided to blog. Do I really have anything exciting to say that anyone else will care about? No, probably not. But I've decided that I'm going to journal my weightloss efforts.

So, who am I? I'm a 41yr old mom to a beautiful little girl. Married to my husband for almost 10yrs now.

My weight story began in 2001. My son was stillborn on April 24, 2001 at 42wks gestation. During my pregnancy, I'd put on almost 70lbs. I wasn't concerned about what I was eating. I ate whatever I wanted when I was hungry. After I lost him, I didn't care about taking off the weight. My girlfriends convinced me to join them at the health club at work and I began WeightWatchers. I eventually took off 40lbs.

In March of 2003, I became pregnant with my daughter. I put on only 50lbs. Again, I didn't worry about taking the weight off although I wasn't happy with the way I looked.

In June of 2005, I and two friends from work were headed to lunch and we were t-boned by a punk in an SUV. My husband was not supportive during my rehab. He did not believe that my back was injured ... even after I brought home my MRI films and tried to show him the herniated disks.

A month later, my grandmother died. Between the lack of support from my husband and the loss of my grandmother, I became extremely depressed. During this time, I lost my appetite and began losing weight. To help me through this, I started seeing a psychologist. He recommended that I try the South Beach Diet. I lost all of the weight I'd put on with my daughter.

In January 2007, I began feeling tired and put on 10lbs. No big deal. I was 39 and I wasn't really doing much so I thought it was appropriate. By the end of the year, I'd put on 30 more pounds. I went to the doctor to find out what was going on. I had the fatigue weight gain plus I was emotional and had developed eczema. He ran bloodwork but it came back normal so I was diagnosed with Seasonal Affected Disorder.

Because I was now 40, my gynecologist ran bloodwork too. This time, my TSH level came back high indicating hypothyroidism. By this time, I'd put on another 10lbs. My doctor started me on .150mcg of generic Levoxyl but I was feeling no relief so I went to see an endocrinologist. He began adjusting my meds and we finally settled on a .150mcg of brand-named Synthroid. This has brought my TSH level to a number close to where it was in October 2005.

I got the call on March 30 that my TSH level was perfect. At that time, I weighed in at 221.

On March 27, I joined a health club. I do 20min of cardio training followed by 20-25min of weight training before work. I do this workout, 4-6 times per week. In the first month, I have lost 4" around my ribs, 2" around my hips and 14.5lbs.

Maybe writing it down like this will keep me from turning into Kirstie Alley.